Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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