yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
