I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
