Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
