no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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