yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
