you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
