Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
