I wish I could punch you in the face.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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