My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Randomize
