Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
