I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have fence marks all over my body
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
