hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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