haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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