We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
