You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
