Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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