my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
