Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I understand Curling. That high.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
