well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
