Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
