So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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