good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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