my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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