just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
