put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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