i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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