Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize