This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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