I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize