did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
