you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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