I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
