I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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