pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
