I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
