Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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