you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Pants are for mortals
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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