also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
honey bunches of taint.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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