I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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