I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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