The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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