I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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