I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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