Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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