so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
