Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
