well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
