she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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