i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
