I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
