The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
