I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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