you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
