I feel great
I just peed on a car
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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