Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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