Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
