Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and you said cock pushups were impossible
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
