Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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