I only kidnapped one of them. chill
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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